I quit my job on Friday, February 17, 2017 at the community mental health center in my area. No, I don’t have anything lined up yet. Why? Because I know the Lord has spoken to me in the ways that he does so sweetly saying, “Wait, child.”
Does that terrify me? Yes, in the flesh. But realistically? in faith? I know he’s got me.
Nico and I leave for Argentina in a few days. Terrifying? Yes. Why? I don’t speak Spanish well, and his family speaks minimal English, It’s another country. AH!??!, I don’t have a job lined up for when I come back, I don’t know what the future holds.
But, I know who holds the future. And that grants me SO. MUCH. ~FREAKING~. PEACE.
Excuse my language, sorta.
The Lord just knows how to take care of his little itty-bitty sheep.
Between yesterday and today, the weather has been LITERALLY ASTOUNDING. It’s been BEAUTIFUL. And I know that I LOVE when the sun comes out and sings a sweet song. BUT IT WREAKS HAVOC on my sinuses (darn you, seasonal allergies), so I’ve been stuffed literally the last 2 days. I had a headache last the entirety of yesterday and this throat/chest muck that’s clogged me today. But amidst this grossness?! !?
THE SWEET CREATOR OF THE WORLD HAS SHOWN ME GRACE AND MERCY AND PEACE that I literally cannot imagine the last time experiencing?!?! It was the first evening that I have literally felt anxiety-free. And I cannot PRAISE HIM ENOUGH FOR IT!??!
I posted this to my facebook wall, dear friends. And I believe this is for you as well.
PRAISE GOD YOU GUYS!!!!!
I know this may seem insignificant to some, but I think we can all relate on some level: I’ve battled with Anxiety/Depression for a lot of my life (now that I’m remembering signs and symptoms even in elementary school.) But has manifested itself in a debilitating manner within the last couple years. It’s mostly anxiety that shows its ugly head, but with depression lingering around. . . Always feeling on edge, irritable, the random mood swings, literal cramping in my chest & the feeling like a railroad spike is sitting in my sternum, the panic attacks that seem to come at the worst and/or most random of times. . . (If you ever want to learn more or chat with me, I’m more than willing to be open with you about it, and possible encourage you in it! just message me privately!) …
WITH THAT SAID THOUGH…. Today, this afternoon/evening and even continuing now …. I DON’T FEEL THAT. I truly feel anxiety free for the first time in WHO KNOWS HOW LONG?!?! AND I AM PRAISING GOD FOR THIS MOMENT, I NEEDED TO SHARE WITH YOU. BECAUSE OF HIS GOODNESS AND MERCY TOWARDS ME!? and TOWARDS OTHERS WHO HAVE THIS SAME STRUGGLE AND THORN IN THEIR SIDE!?!?
Friends, There is no magic cure, magic pill, magic mantra or Bible verse that can make something like this just magically disappear. I have prayed for countless hours, meditated on the Lord’s Word, I’ve done yoga, I’ve used essential oils, Heck, I’m even on anti-anxiety medication. And YES I will 100% continue doing all these things because I know they’re good for me. And I know that I DO benefit from all of the above! But tonight, for the first time in what seems like forever, I have been able to take a deep breath and pour out my praise to Abba for delivering me, even for a few moments / an evening, I know he’s always good and always loves me, and NEVER wants to see his children suffer. But all the praise in the suffering makes this praise so much more worth it, because I know it’s not just in this happy moment that I am able to give him the glory and the praise for the SWEET VICTORY that I have in Jesus! This song has been on repeat since I first discovered it last year, and at Time 4:00 is the part to literally BELT IT OUT wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever you’ve gone through, whatever you’re feeling, whatever you’re doing. You have VICTORY in CHRIST. In the thorns, in the toil, in the sweat, in the blood, in the tears. This needs to be shared TO ALL. BECAUSE WHAT A SWEET VICTORY WE HAVE IN OUR PRECIOUS JESUS.
No, my anxiety is not going to magically disappear, and who knows, maybe tomorrow might be the worst day yet. But I won’t fear because I know who holds tomorrow and who holds my very soul in his hands. And that, my friends, is worth any struggle. Because I know I already have victory in His name, and this place is thankfully only temporary. Live in the fact that He’s already conquered _____________ for you.
Blessings, friends ❤
I pray this beautiful praise and blessing upon you as well, dear friends. Have a sweet sweet evening and VICTORY IN HE WHO HOLDS YOUR LIFE IN HIS HANDS ❤